My Blog

I have a special place in this unstable American economy.  I’m currently OVER-employed.

Now, don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not golfing every day and making money hand over fist so I can wipe my butt with the extra hundred dollar bills I have floating around in my Bentley.  Quite the contrary. 

Some of the jobs I currently have:

My 9-to-5 or “day job” - (for which I am eternally grateful for. So many people are out of work right now, even on the hard days I value every hour I’m able to work and get paid when so many are not as fortunate.)

Semi-Single Mother  - (I do have the help of Ray and my Mom – again, eternally grateful, there’s no way I could do even a fraction of what I do without this help)

Housekeeper – if this were my first job, I would be fired. Not only would I be fired but my employer would have every right to kick me in the ass all the way down the street and then mail me the clumps of dog hair that sat in the corner of the room for months following my termination. This is also the primary reason most of my friends haven’t seen the “new” house. I could outsource but it’s truly embarrassing and how do you ask Rent a Maid to work around wet paint, construction debris and 87 boxes of laminate flooring sitting in the middle of the living room? (NOT kidding about the number of boxes in the living room)

Tech Support – again another role I’m failing at based on the fact that I nearly destroyed my computer with a sledgehammer the other night while trying to write this post, ironically enough, and seriously debated throwing it off the deck.  I wish I were kidding about this one but it’s been months of time-constrained troubleshooting, swearing and reinstallation attempts. Instead I’m going to buy a new computer and down-cycle the current one to Sebastian. (See, Reganomics DOES work! It directly benefits the young, poor and downtrodden and on a prime day Sebastian would be able to convince you that he isn’t just ONE of these things, he’s all THREE and you should extend benefits and courtesy in the form of electronic devices to him…like, now. Preferably if they have Angry Birds, Zombie something or other games ready to play.)

General Contractor & Project Manager – Finding contractors, scheduling contractors, paying contractors, dealing with the county on permit issues, fighting with vendors about incorrect products (THIS is a good story, stay tuned for the pure wrath and rage against a major US retailer), managing finances and directing general level of effort in my Hot Tranny Hooker of a house.

Weekend Day Laborer – Schlepping an insane amount of flooring around, cleaning construction debris, looking for misplaced screwdrivers, priming, painting, looking for miscellaneous misplaced tools, blah, blah, blah.  The short job description includes hands that are chapped, scraped, cut and look like shit, bruises on my legs and body, something interesting stuck or clinging to my hair and I make enough trips to Home Depot my car has developed a kind of mechanical singularity and drives me without any interaction or input from me. (note to self, call MIT and patent the shit out of that when you get time)

Girlfriend – just because this is at the bottom of the list doesn’t mean it’s the least important, quite the contrary.  Trying to keep my relationship going amidst the rest of the chaos is challenging but it’s important to me and requires care, nurturing and most importantly, time.

To say that I’m currently burning the candle at both ends would be an improvement in the situation that I’m currently finding myself in.  Added to this are the standard illnesses that 7 year olds bring home and infect the house with, the doctor’s visits, antibiotics and general struggles to find enough time.  There’s never enough and something always suffers and as the Mom, it is usually me.

Especially poignant point with me is the ever-tipsy struggle to balance work and life in general but especially for women.  I’m not sure that it’s possible.  I need to collect my thoughts more on this one but my currently rotting tooth stuck in my mouth is my ever-present nagging companion these days.  Yes I need to do something about it, but a sick child’s needs come before my own.

And, yes, I did just call my “new” house a “Hot Tranny Hooker”.  More on that when I get a computer that will actually respond to a command to open one of the photos I have stored on it's hard drive.

Things have been interesting in the new house and I know I owe you guys all kinds of updates.  Blogging slacker is my new title.

I plan on sketching everything out for you this weekend when I actually have a second to myself.  Birthday, Christmas, plans for the new house, what we’ve done in the house and what’s yet to come.

They’re coming, I promise.